3.13.2012

You know.

Written for someone who needs to know it is ok to not be perfect.

Written in the first person so that person can see.....

I try and not care but occasionally it bugs me when people don't like me or are mean. I listen to my doubts. No particular individuals here, just a general comment.


I know I am not the best person. I am not perfect. Humanity was designed to have issues and foibles. I don't necessarily relish in mine, but I know I have them. I know I have faults, but I don't need them pointed out constantly. I remind myself daily. That mirror, I see myself harsher than you or anyone can imagine. No, I can't change all the issues you might see, and on some level the fact people point them out makes me too stubborn to do so. But, I work diligently, I slip, I fall back and then I push forward. I may snark and sarcasm to protect my heart. I laugh and I cry. I appreciate you find yourself above reproach but to constantly belittle and bemoan all the problems I have caused or so-and-such has caused but this does not help me aspire to be better, at least not for you.

You know what pushes me to improve:

support, not the backhanded kind;
love, not the only-if-you-do-this-or-that kind
laughter, with me and not at me or my challenges
touch, a hug goes a long way and not a threatening posture and holding my hand always wins
silence can be the best support; knowing someone is JUST there; words aren't required
smiles from a stranger
hellos from an unknown
cheering with the crowd at a game that pleasure
notes written on my bathroom mirror

Funny thing support, it needn't be constant to provide the best groundwork. The best support I get can be the smile across a room or that surprise letter in the mail. It isn't always even human. Clouds, stars, moons, flowers, beautiful sunsets, the crash of waves and rainbows remind me of greater strengths being offered. these things are reminding me that my issues are small.

Don't allow yourself the doldrums of ingratitude, but relish in the joys of each dandelion seed being blown by a toddler and remember we should all blow those seeds. The smell of sunshine on the kitty in the window can turn a day around in a snap. Know that you are loved and even more so when you doubt you are.

Friends are always next you you but you may not see. Reach to the heart when you are in need. Know from where the strength of support comes. It might surprise you where support is found. It will disappoint when it isn't where you wanted. But, the flowers will bloom and the music will play. Someone is there, look and see, reach and find, ask and you can receive.

Above all, believe you are deserved because you always were and you will always be important.

No comments: