You know.

Written for someone who needs to know it is ok to not be perfect.

Written in the first person so that person can see.....

I try and not care but occasionally it bugs me when people don't like me or are mean. I listen to my doubts. No particular individuals here, just a general comment.


I know I am not the best person. I am not perfect. Humanity was designed to have issues and foibles. I don't necessarily relish in mine, but I know I have them. I know I have faults, but I don't need them pointed out constantly. I remind myself daily. That mirror, I see myself harsher than you or anyone can imagine. No, I can't change all the issues you might see, and on some level the fact people point them out makes me too stubborn to do so. But, I work diligently, I slip, I fall back and then I push forward. I may snark and sarcasm to protect my heart. I laugh and I cry. I appreciate you find yourself above reproach but to constantly belittle and bemoan all the problems I have caused or so-and-such has caused but this does not help me aspire to be better, at least not for you.

You know what pushes me to improve:

support, not the backhanded kind;
love, not the only-if-you-do-this-or-that kind
laughter, with me and not at me or my challenges
touch, a hug goes a long way and not a threatening posture and holding my hand always wins
silence can be the best support; knowing someone is JUST there; words aren't required
smiles from a stranger
hellos from an unknown
cheering with the crowd at a game that pleasure
notes written on my bathroom mirror

Funny thing support, it needn't be constant to provide the best groundwork. The best support I get can be the smile across a room or that surprise letter in the mail. It isn't always even human. Clouds, stars, moons, flowers, beautiful sunsets, the crash of waves and rainbows remind me of greater strengths being offered. these things are reminding me that my issues are small.

Don't allow yourself the doldrums of ingratitude, but relish in the joys of each dandelion seed being blown by a toddler and remember we should all blow those seeds. The smell of sunshine on the kitty in the window can turn a day around in a snap. Know that you are loved and even more so when you doubt you are.

Friends are always next you you but you may not see. Reach to the heart when you are in need. Know from where the strength of support comes. It might surprise you where support is found. It will disappoint when it isn't where you wanted. But, the flowers will bloom and the music will play. Someone is there, look and see, reach and find, ask and you can receive.

Above all, believe you are deserved because you always were and you will always be important.

Magic in Numbers - 844

I love numbers. Not always math but there are times when numbers are important.

Today, my favorite number is 844.

844 days means this to me:

Exactly 2 years, 3 months, and 22 days.

It means 20,256 hours.

This is equivalent to 1,215,360 minutes.

You can also convert 844 days to 72,921,600 seconds.



This is a personal number today. My usual favorite is 14. I like 4's, obviously. Silly how little things like numbers are your day, your bank account, contact information, your identifiers with almost everyone and for everything. Today my number is 844 and I feel a sense of relief.

Sunday Scribblings - REST

Pauses in time to rest and enjoy the quiet moments. Greatness in the beauty a calm soul can see.

Rest is not simply for the wicked.

The ‘Rest of the Story’ is every day, every hour and every moment. What is the rest of your thoughts, your dreams, and you desires?

I seek and search and scrape to find a few moments of utter peace, daily. This is a new determination, perhaps a goal for the rest of my time on this earth. Seek that moment or two or four to rest and grasp the lovely. I have found so much in those moments. I will continue to look in there as I rest my mind from all the hubbub and wackiness.

http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com/

(image from Bonaventure Cemetery, Savannah taken October 2009)

Happy Valentine's Day

(what starts out sad ends in a twist of hope and joy)


Dear old Valentine,


I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for releasing me from your grasp. This is a day to remember those sweet times. There were many more than a few. But, it also a day to celebrate the future good times and happinesses we will all enjoy now and in the future. We can and will prevail. We are strong and determined.


We don’t need tempestuous behavior and spoiled adults to placate. We need maturity and co-parenting. We all have our own stories and woes. We support and love each and every one of our friends. We celebrate today the absence of your drama, even if we are in the midst of some of that drama. Realize it may not in our home with us any longer.


We celebrate the martyrs today. And that we are not among them. We appreciate Geoffrey Chaucer and his courtly love that has tainted the hearts of women waiting for that white knight and of men searching for their princess.


We don’t need candy, flowers, dinners, and jewels. We need love and in its simplicity with the honor and commitments, respect, adoration and generosity of spirit that should accompany love.


With all the anger, drama, bitternesses we feel or have felt, we all want the same things: happiness and security for ourselves and our children today and every day hereafter.


We are not sad today. We are jubilant with the what-ifs and the gorgeous day that is today. We are pleasantly surprised by the gentle touches from our friends and families.


Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together,
Brighter than a lucky penny,
When you're near
The rain goes and
I know, that it’s
Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows for me.
(mostly by Gore Lesley)


Mostly, we breathe a sigh of relief that we can breathe and smiles and laugh and cry and that these actions are our own. We love what love stands for and that it is good. We relish those moments of pleasant peace and gentle moods.


Thank you, my friends for supporting me when I want to bash heads, kick shins or simply vent and shriek. You are my TRUE VALENTINES, I love you.


**** this began as a letter to help a friend on Valentine's and ended up being more reminders of why the day was important and how we continue to travel down our paths***